What I learned from watching 24

The following things were learned between 6 p.m. and 7 p.m.

1. Use the tools provided. You may have to undo a man's belt to get the tool.
2. Do not provide a cuckoo bird with sharp tools.
3. When in doubt, bring a belt to a gun fight.
4. If the other guy brings a knife to a gun fight, shoot him and take the knife.
5. What happens in Denver stays in Denver...unless you work for CTU.
6. Being with a disgraced former president causes feelings of ambivalence. Unless you're a cuckoo bird.
   
7. If you're going to mouth off to your new supervisor, wear blended fabrics because they don't wrinkle.
8. The script writers disappeared Cynthia McKinney Chappelle and Gee Wali faster than if DHS had sent them to Gitmo.
9. The Vice-President still has no neck.
10. Don't interrupt the VP when he's still talkin'.
11. John Cage Lennox is still a weasel. Who wants to bet he sent the Secret Signal to the Ambassador of Bombyourassisatan?
12. Anya Subaru wears pants in family.
13. In Soviet Russia, pants wear you.
14. Agent Pierce's game has been slowed down by his hootchie mama.
15. "Institutionalized" and "house arrest" have very comfortable meanings for presidential families.
16. When grocery shopping for a cuckoo bird, only buy fruit that can be peeled by hand.
17. When consulate is under lockdown, do not attempt hanky-panky in basement.
18. No silent clock, no ex-ex-POTUS. Take that to the bank.

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